Self-Love

We hear it all too regularly that “you’ve got to love yourself first” before we can truly love anyone else, before we can be in a healthy relationship, before this, after that.. etc.

I first heard the concept of self love through recovery from alcoholism. But, the one thing that was never really clear was exactly how do I do that? There was no one to show me or tell me concrete ways to start loving myself.

I was raised to be “self-less” & to “give unto others”, one must “practice self-sacrifice” to be a “good little girl.” Which ultimately lead me to be used as a tool for adults’ gain-be it emotional manipulation, mental head games, or sexual gratification.

The concept of loving myself? Why? How?

I have learned no one will love us the way we truly deserve. I believe it is humanly impossible for another person to meet all of our needs and demands. In love, in work, in any relationship. Therefore, the concept of self love is to fill your own cup, so you are not desperately seeking Drops of attention from other people which leave us miserable because it is an impossible task. No matter how much a person does love and respect you, they still cannot be your everything. They cannot be your complete source.

Some simple ways to practice intentional self love are :

-Choose foods that nourish your body and soul, even if it’s expensive, treat yourself to your favorite treats once in a while.

-give yourself enough time for peaceful restful sleep.

-Take a little extra time in a hot bubble bath.

-use daily affirmations such as “I am loved “and “I am lovable”

-Go on spontaneous adventures even if it’s just across town.

-Treat yourself the way you would treat a toddler. With love, admiration and wonder.

-Brush your hair, brush your teeth, get dressed up, if you rarely do that or stay in sweats all day if you have to get dressed for work all the time.

Self love is going to look a little bit different for everyone. Basically, it’s doing the things that you love, doing the things that feel good for you, before tending to everyone else’s needs. Learning to say no to things that you:

1. don’t have time for

2. don’t feel like doing

3. should not be doing

Don’t let people walk all over you and take advantage of your sweet, precious time and energy. That is the most important act of self-love in my opinion.

Leave a comment & share some of the ways you show yourself love 💕 Happy Month of Love 💕